Do you know the story of the man who was hitting himself over the head with a hammer? “Why do you keep hitting yourself with that hammer?” a shocked passerby asked him. “Because,” the man replied, “it’s going to feel so good when I stop.”

Examine the evidence. You keep fighting the same fight. You’re losing sleep. You’re sick of hearing yourself complain about the same things over and over again (yammer, hammer, hammer). Clearly, wrestling isn’t getting you closer to free. It’s quite possible that… you have no fight left in you.

This is excellent news! This is beautiful…

True self love is to accept ALL parts of ourselves. Our neediness, delights, pains, talents… Light and shadows. ALL of us. Without criticism.

True self love steers us away from seeking signs from the Universe that we’re “worthy”. Self love is a remembrance of our Divinity. We are Love itself.

True self love is a life led by Loving Kindness — and we include ourselves and all sentient life in that love.

Here are my podcast episodes where I go deep into the topic. Please come with me.

The ego generally dishes in two categories: arrogance and superiority complexes… or insecurity and inferiority complexes. And all the wild vacillations in between.

Stay mindful… both avenues aim to keep us asleep to our True Nature.

Here’s what my ego/small self tries to tell me… note how easily this ego script could be mistaken for spiritual “aspiration”:

When you’re on the path of intentional awakening, the ego can get really insidious and tricky. When the voice that says you’re not enlightened enough starts to come through…

Diligently rush in with compassion.

The mantra, the medicine, is so simple:

I’m doing the best that I can. (Say this in the most loving, affirmative, friendly tone. Because it’s a statement of celebration.)

Are you doing the best that you can?

Highly likely.

And that’s Divine.



You’re about to ship your product, wrap the gift, get dressed for the event, name the baby. Go time. Launch time. Deadline-to-meet-time. It’s time to make the final call. You’ve been working toward this for months. Money invested in designers, endless jam sessions, deep thinking, working toward THAT goal.

And then… and then you look at it (clock is ticking, we’re waiting for you to sign off), and you think… it’s not quite right. We need to… change the name, pull apart the structure, swap out the picture, switch the offer, shift gears.

And then… you want to throw up.

Threshold, crossed. You got there. After the grinding, the repetitive strain, the cord-cutting, the release, the bliss of relief — the training paid off. Muscle burn got you across the finish line. Soul fire resurrected you. BREAKTHROUGH.

Rebirth happens. The ascension was real. There’s no turning back now. You are true and you ARE new.

Now what? (Because you’re in a new state. And that can be equally awesome and freaky. And maybe you’re about to slip back. And yet! You’re right on course.)

WHAT TO DO AFTER YOU HAVE A BREAKTHROUGH (in this order, give or take).

Be so…

It might be hard. Maybe it’s wrenching. It could be incredibly painful and so it’s difficult to feel lightness. Or to see clearly.

Hanging by a thread can be disorienting.
Listen to me: It’s going to be okay. You’re going to get through this. You can do it.

Baby, you ARE doing it.

You’re getting through this. Right now your cells are plumping up, and your heart is beating, and you have your breath. *In breath. Out breath.*

In breath, out breath. Sun’s going to rise.
We always, ALWAYS get to the other side.

Take encouragement from strangers. Like me…

Good things come to those who… hold out. You ask the universe for someone awesome to fill the role of lover, team player, or power broker. You ask for a change of scenery. And then something close enough happens. And you do the cosmic shrug and think, “Well, close enough.” It’s new. It’s different. But… new and different are not the same as resonant and deeper. You have to hold out for that kind of realness.

Holding out is a stamina of standards. It’s a derivative of faith. …

A while back, I had a journal cremation. Burned 7 years of pages soaked in self doubt and self abandonment, guised under the beautifully sad habit of seeking answers — always outside of myself.

Made a lot of space to see that I was creating noise with all the outside opinions, when, in fact, I was craving the depth of silence. Seeking wisdom, but too attached to finding answers for it to pour through…

Wisdom is the spiritual essence of the Soul. Comes in the stillness + silence. …

In these factious times, will you lay it on the line in the name of integrity? Or will you stay rooted in your dominion… and find workarounds to serve in a magnificent way?

I still struggle with this myself… let’s unpack it together. Press play.

We’ll all meet mini-crucible moments in our lives… moments where we have to decide:

To speak.
To vote.
To fight.
To invite.
To forgive.
To welcome.
To push.
To get a megaphone.
To be quiet.
To work behind the scenes.
To get onstage.

Will you lay it all down for your beliefs, or will you find the workaround on behalf of the collective? I think we’ll only know when the time comes. And our actions may change day to day. It’s all Love.

With Love,


Show me how to love myself truly and entirely.

Show me how to eat, sleep, and move my body
for nourishment, restoration, celebration.
Show me how to embody everything that is my joy.

Face me toward my Soul
my innocence,
my beauty,
my strength,
my gifts.

Show me what I knew before I took on the veils of human form.
Show me who I am with no attachments, and who I am fulfilled.

Rinse comparison from my psyche, lift my gaze to my Higher Self. On the dark days, just remind me that I am a good person and that…

Danielle LaPorte

Opinionated introvert often mistaken for an extrovert. I write about stuff I find in the cosmos…mostly Love. Author of The Desire Map, White Hot Truth + FSS.

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